Navigating the Path of Pain


Grief is a palpable thing. It crushes us beneath its weight. If left unchecked we can find ourselves buried along with the dead (either metaphorically or physically). Often we won’t even realize we’ve suffocated until somehow we crawl out of those dark depths. Then and only then can we see the sun.

As many of you know, I’m intimately familiar with pain and grief. Over the years I’ve had many losses. When my father died I was shocked by the level of grief I felt, how it hung on. Long afterwards, I’d see something that would bring back a memory of him and a sharp stabbing pain would constrict my heart rendering me unable to breathe. I rarely, if ever, do that now but I still miss his quiet presence during Thanksgiving dinners.

At one point on my path of pain, I’d lost my sense of self in an abusive relationship. Literally, I had to rebuild myself and start over. (A note to friends and family of abused loved ones—never diminish this pain.) Loss of self is simply a different form of death.  If you’ve lived—you’ve lost,  Continue reading

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Seven Steps to De-stress

Flying birds - Freedom in flight 1

Recovery from abuse/pain/grief/depression, you name it, can put a lot of stress on your body. These ideas can help, or at the least, reduce those harmful effects. And the best part is they work for anyone. Try them. Share them. It’s about healing. Bluntly speaking, there are times in life when we all need to move towards healing.

However, It’s important that I point out to you that while all of these ideas can be beneficial, you may need to see a professional to make sure there’s not something more serious going on. Don’t be afraid to see a specialist to get the help you need and deserve. Do it for yourself. And for your loved ones.

Self help ideas (in no particular order):

  1. Positive self talk– maybe you’ve been put down so much it’s hard for you to even think, let alone say, anything positive about yourself. (Read my short story “Broken” where I talk about my inability to say anything positive about myself). You need to be your own champion. Learn to love yourself – no matter what. Tell yourself, I can do this, I am someone, I matter to myself and others, I’m worth something Continue reading

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